I've recently discovered that having nothing to do at work is not as much fun as i thought it would be. Nevertheless, it is educational as i learn more from the internet.I spent an entire afternoon looking up information about pianos and i discovered that there are so many rules about scales, notations etc which i was clueless about, even though i claim to have learnt western classical piano (on and off) since the age of 9. I also realized that to be able to afford the piano of my dreams ( a bluthner baby grand ),I would definitely have to quit infosys and start making a new plan.
Sometimes i cannot decide whether having gone into this line was a terrible mistake. I know i'm secure about my job, and that people in conventional society think of me well and it always makes me feel cool to be a technogeek, but that sums up all the benefits which this job could offer.
I know that being really good at this job will not give me as much pleasure as being really good at an artform.Its bizarre how badly i want to be good at dance/martial arts/vocals/piano/art etc etc and how i really really dont care about how good i am at my job.
Now the question that i'm faced with is whether it is possible to excel at something alongside work (which takes up 80% of my time) or whether i should take a risk,quit and do whatever i please...and eventually discover what is it that i really need to do to exhaust all my creative and nervous energy.I wish something would happen...an inspirational flash...a sudden miraculous adrenalin rush or anything at all... which helps me make up my mind and get me out of this dilemma.
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9 comments:
Well I incidently agree to what Kaytor mentions... Step off the cliff - believing you know how to fly - and you will ... coz if you won't then you will not be left to think anything...
As your blog was a good read so is a fact that therer are a lot of things in you that you can do in parallel... I know working in an IT co. is taxing as I know the blues of a software engineer but it does open up a huge audience to your talents.
You are no mug with words.. why don't be a bit more creative and write more frequently... m sure threre are a lot of things that reside in that devilish mind ... my suggestion is to pen them down... May be u land up in a wonderland ;)..
reach me @
03.indiatimes.com/shailendra
or
http://www.orkut.com/Home.aspx?xid=7526449840150222271
Life as we know it's never how we saw it planned out... to do what you want you're expected to make compromises - go ahead, hop jobs a bit and by the time you find you're making a bomb and a quarter you'd have the time to spend it and get onto doodles of less stress and more meaning on the pages of life.
Damn! My prose is almost as good as my 'pome's!
You're blogging! Not bad, kid.
At this age, why do you care about job security. It is the time to take risks and explore.
CRISIS would be an exaggeration for this...this is something which all of us go thru in one way or other...its plain disatisfaction with wht u have or in more subtle terms.."not as happy" if ur circumstances would hv been "something else"...neways nice post
Peace nd Wishes.
Akshay
I should rather start with telling you that I was/i am(not sure though) in a kind of similar situation as you are. But as time progressed,I realised that art needs pure dedication and hardwork and above all sacrifice to be at the top!! Its very easy to think of your passion than working with it and carrying it all along with you. I have read about many artists and most of the rare gems who had excelled in art have sacrificed tremendously and have developed a sort of divine bliss out of their love for art. To make that kind of a decision, you need sheer courage and mental stability. To be honest i lack it at this point of time and as you said only an inspirational flash would break this dilemma into two concrete parts!!! Hope for the best and good luck! At the same time, i too wish to quit infy somehow!
hey..
i can understand wat u goin thru.. i agree wit wat de wrote.. but then, at times, u gotta follow ur heart n decide wen's it time to do wat it tells u.. i too learnt the piano wen i was a kid.. although i didnt get time to pick it again, i still do read bout music.. the notes.. n keep composing those ad jingles on my cell :)
listen to ur heart.. ur mind wil soon follow!!
If you are honest with ur self there would never be a crisis.
here's a suggestion....QUIT !! if u know ur good and if ur sure of u...u need to quit so that the damn thing weighs so heavily on u u cant bloody breathe..in which case u'll either end up hating it in which case it was never worth the effort at all or u'll gon on to do it with a fervour that even u didnt know resided in u..trust me on this..u gotta go mad and do the most unexpected things sometimes so u can catch the world by surprise and punch em between the eyes right then....like einstein once said- there is no genius without eccentricity !
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